I’m super new to this whole idea of blogging. I think that it’s more for my own benefit than for anyone else’s. I have a lot of thoughts — good, bad, and indifferent. But these thoughts rarely make it out of my own head and they start to drive me crazy. I’m the kind of girl who spends hours planning out a conversation in my head knowing full well that it will never happen. Maybe eventually I’ll tell you more about myself. Maybe not. I like the idea of anonymity. But today I’m just gonna start off with what’s in my head, since that’s my whole point in doing this. So here goes.
For the past few days, I’ve been watching a girl try to convince herself at every meal that she is full. I know this because she eats half of what she usually would and then claims that she is “stuffed”, that she is “going to explode”. Why would she do this? I found out today when she told me that her mother said she is “always beautiful, but it wouldn’t hurt to watch what she ate.”
Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.
It makes me sick that a mother would say that to her daughter. This girl is not “skinny” by the standards set by society, but she is perfectly healthy. She goes to the gym multiple times a week, take the stairs to our fourth floor apartment, walks everyday. We are also both students studying abroad. She has a once-in-a-lifetime chance to enjoy living in a different country for five months. Trying and enjoying all the food that doesn’t exist in the United States is one of the things I live for and up until the visit from her parents, my roommate felt the same way. She confided in me over dinner tonight that her mother had “motivated” her to try and eat better. It was simple, she told me, she just had to stop eating dessert, bread, and pastries. I actually had to take an extra minute to process that. “But that’s all the good stuff” was my response. Still, she insisted that she should be careful about what she ate, that all the food was getting boring anyway, and that her mother’s honest (brutal, uncalled-for, rude) comment was exactly the push she needed.
This is why girls develop eating disorders.
It just crushes me that this girl feels the need to change her lifestyle, to stop doing what she wants and eating things she loves just to gain the approval of her mother. Last I checked, your parents were supposed to be the ones who love you unconditionally.